Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads.

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 02:25:21 GMT

i visited penn today with my parents. i laughed at them when they first said they wanted to go get car stickers and sweatshirts but i was glad we did.

it's only an hour and 20 minutes away, which is perfect. turnpike south... how weird!? we got there and parked, then walked walnut street to the bookstore, which was nice because it bordered the campus. spent like an hour and too much money in the bookstore... my mom said it was okay because were saving money on other application fees. but yeah, we got a lot of stuff there, then walked through the campus once. i was honestly worried that when we got there i would be like, "oh this is okay but i remembered it being better", but it wasn't like that at all. it was wonderful and i am more in love with it than before.

then we walked around the little mini city. FJALKDJSFSDF OMG there is an urban outfitters AND an american apparel like RIGHT ON CAMPUS. haha seriously that was absolutly thrilling. it made up for a lifetime of the shitty freehold raceway mall. then we searched for somewhere to eat but a lot of places were closed. we ended up at a food court, ate, then walked around campus a little more. we saw someone with a penn engineering shirt that we hadn't seen at the store so we went back to the store and spent a lot more money, haha.

all in all, it was excellent. my parents are really pretty amazing. i'm very very excited about this all.

after i got home, we lit the candles and then I went to the siegel family christmas celebration, but mostly everyone had left. it was fun, i finally found out how brett's related to the principal, everyone played guitar hero, and everything was really great. then me and brett laid around for a while and were silly and then i had to go home.

i'm really happy with my life right now :-)

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 23:02:51 GMT

mmm hey journal. sup?

yesterday was coldstone and a really really good day of school. bbg is fantastic. senior year really is what it's cracked up to be.

yesterday my puppy got his balls chopped. poor pups. he's not exactly himself, but who would be?

i got into rutgers engineering. it's nice to know i'm definitely going to college. really nice.

i think that's it for now. here's a picture of the puppy, for those who have not witnessed his adorableness.

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 02:50:13 GMT

holy mother of god. today was... grueling.

woke up with chloe! she came over yesterday and spent the day and night, and i got up at 7 first, for tennis, but it was raining so i went back to sleep after a call from amanda. woke up again around 10, made breakfast with chloe (yogurt and eggs like good healthy growing children). then i put her on a bus and headed to nathan's.

worked for three hours, which is good. first day in the new house, which is GORGEOUS. he doesn't deserve it. i put the computer together and helped james with the desk, then unpacked in the basement, boring boring. then it was 3, i left and got home at 3:20, had 10 minutes to get ready for the entire day ahead. i got all my stuff together and put a banana in my mouth, ran out to the car and pulled out into the street, realized i had forgotten my tennis racket, ran back inside (the dog went nuts), grabbed it, hit my shin on the sewing box (why the hell do we have a sewing box in the tennis closet?), ran out, made it to the school in 30 minutes because traffic on nine sucked.

anyway, tennis was fine. we had fun on the reject court. i planned to tell coach that i had a doctor's appointment, but he let me go early without an excuse. i left fifteen minutes before practice was over, rushed to the reservoir, and started cross country practice. i did MUCH better than i expected, a two mile workout (alone) without stopping once, which i did not think i could still do. it felt really good, too. then a 1.5 mile cooldown with some of the girls. it was really good. so i got home (sore and sweaty), called ward, told him i quit, called hein, told him i was in, and ate dinner and that was it. i wasn't sure about the decision at first, but tennis definitely wouldn't have been as fun this year. and this will let me get in shape, which i can only do if someone else is in control. i just don't have the willpower anyway. but all those girls are so in shape and so trained... they can all do the whole reservoir (5.1 mi) easy and i'm hardly even doing two, let alone three (the actual length of an xc race). anyway, it's done and i hope i don't regret anything, but i don't think i will.

tomorrow: pictures, xc, nathan's, h2k10 orientation.

LETS DO IT.

Sat, 13 May 2006 15:54:45 GMT

oh my god junior cut day was amazinggggg.

i woke up at 8, got ready, picked clarissa up and we headed to perkin's. got lost (wtf is wrong with me) and got there before 9:30. we (me, clarissa, brett, jesse, ashley, alex, erin, kelly, marilyn) at breakfast there (so good!) and then headed to great adventure.

i have no idea what time we got there, but we stayed a longgg time. i go on roller coasters now! i went on everything that they all went on except the damn wooden spinny thing. i'd rather die, thanks. it was an amazinggg time and then jesse punched an arcade crane game and broke the glass so we left. hahaha hilarious. but yeah, it was pretty much the best day and it was not even over.

so then we all went to ruby tuesday's, but ashley and alex disappeared and then kelly found a long lost friend and was gone and erin had to go chauffer her brother around the world. when we were done eating, everyone who was still around (everyone except kelly) came to my house and we sat around and watched 'tiara girls' first but then played true colors for like, three hours. it was a hit, yay! it was sooooooooooooo hilarious and sooooooooooooo much fun and when we got bored we went outside and played spud until the sun went down. everyone had to go through the bootywhacker, because that's just the way the game works. then, i had chased brett down the block for some reason or another so ashley, erin, marilyn, and kelly locked themselves in my house and hid in the basement. i snuck in through the back gate and found erin, so her, me and brett went to dusal's to pick up jesse and the free pizzas he got us. we went back and everyone was upstairs, marilyn was playing the piano, and we all ate and my parents came home and it was so much fun and then we played the name game until 11:00.

god, it was one of the best days of my life.

Fri, 12 May 2006 04:38:59 GMT

yayyy got a job today. tutoring at kumon. it's right in kilmer plaza, so i won't have to spend all the money i earn on gas. starts at 7 an hour, not as bad as ricky's would have been. and it's cute and nice and i get to add fractions all day which i honestly love. plus i'll work for nathan sometimes too, which will be up to 10 dollars an hour under the table, and that ADDS UP.

yay tomorrow is junior cut day. if it rains i will cry. we're going to great adventure unless it's totally torrential.

why i am i writing in this piece of shit i am so tired.

Fri, 05 May 2006 22:28:46 GMT

this week is sort of shit.

14 fucking hours of standardized testing in seven days. i'm 75% done. but SATs tomorrow wahhh why. i got home today after the most brutal test of my life and i was like, why did i take that? and my mother was like, there was no reason for you to take that. and it's true. so that was a hell of a big waste of time. and sleep. and HEALTH, dammit, i'm sicker than i've ever been, ever. and everyone in my testing room was probably so disgusted by the girl with an acutal tissue box and thirty cough drops under her desk, sniffling and hacking for three hours and five minutes.

aksfdjadf i want this to be over i want to be in college NOW because i know from near-experience that it is not as FUCKING STRESSFUL AND SICKENING AS THIS.

i'm not really sure why i'm so angry. maybe cause i've been sick for a week.

sometimes i rediscover music--

OH GOD MY IPOD CAME HOME IN THE MAIL TODAY. I HAVENT TRIED IT YET BUT YAYYY DEXTER. apparently they just replaced the hard drive so he's still scratched and dirty on the outside but he plays music and doesnt make that clicking noise.

--um, so i rediscover music. like the stars. probably one of the best bands i ever ever heard. download 'one more night' or 'your ex-lover is dead'.

my life has been school in the daytime and AP review in the night. they were fun but ughhh. last night was drama-filled. i'm really worried about several of my friends, even those who don't really consider me friends, maybe. i don't know.

so, my sister broke up with phil. after seven years. and he didn't put up a fight. that was the bad part, it wasn't bad breaking up because things have just gotten too bad but it was bad that he just left. but i mean, if you've ever met jen-- she just deserves so much more. more than anyone i know. she is so bubbly and loving and full of life and he was certainly a life-sucker. and it was so sad to see her that way. i don't know, it's just scary. seven years. i can't imagine.

i am so tired and sick and tired tired tired tired fkalsjdfkljas i hate this week, i really do.

Sun, 30 Apr 2006 05:02:22 GMT

good times lately. very good.

last weekend was unbelieveable.
thursday: last night at coffee blue. i read, probably the best i ever read there. it was sad. but so good.
friday: PROM alkjsdfa yay.
saturday: brettday! autoshow in the city, then macaroni grill in holmdel. yay!
sunday: brett's real birthday. confirmation party at his house with his entire extended family.

then school was crazy. AP fever. mr r had review sessions after school almost every day and i went to them all. but they were really fun and we had dance parties and met mrs r and ate junk food and stoles cones and laughed and climbed through windows and it was really a good time. i have almost 40 pages of history notes. that was stupid. but it always helps me to absorb things if i write them myself.

anyway, friday i saw brett for a little bit and then went to jen's house, where she led boys on and i straightened my hair and made ravioli and it was good. then we went and hung out with bizarre people from my past. but yeah that was really cool. then i went home and kelly, alana, and jess got to my house at like, 11. we hung out and watched love actually and everyone fell asleep.

we all got up this morning and got on an 8:07 bus to the city. we caught a cab up to 118th and amsterdam, stopped at the hungarian pastry shop (sup freshman humanities!) for post-breakfast, alana disregarded traffic signals and almost died, then we walked jess to her room, alana to hers, and then me and kelly took the SHP test in our room. it was hilarious... we thought it was going to be easy cause the math section was a joke and after that it was like... whoaaa. hard. but it was a fun experience. and it was the first time i got to see columbia, more importantly. i think i can see myself there, really. plus the best location imaginable for me. it's really tempting. but logistically, i'm not sure i can get it. and if i apply early decision... i don't know. it could be a big disappointment. or not.

after, we took a cab all the way over to union square, ate lunch at the noodle house (SO GOOD) and shopped for a bit at forever 21 (ALSO, SO GOOD). then back to port authority, where we fucked up the bus tickets and didn't get moving until twenty to six. i came home, picked up dinner from saladworks (brett was working again!), saw him for a little while, and now i'm here. and tired.

i want to go to great adventure tomorrow-- anyone in?

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 01:54:20 GMT

with all the energy i put into cursing off corzine and calling the gov school office, it was stupid of me to never consider the fact that i might not, and in fact was likely to not, actually get in.

that frees up a whole summer. anyway, that was a nice way to end a shitty day yesterday, and today started off good but got worse.

this journal is lame i am tired.

Sun, 16 Apr 2006 04:32:27 GMT

yesterday i ate delicious sushi. that's all you need to know.

today i woke up and hung around the house and played with kyle cheung (cutest asian other than clarissa that i've ever seen.), then brett, me, my mom and dad went to the outlets in jackson for prom shoes. haha random. it was fun. i FINALLY GOT SAMBAS OH GOD I LOVE THEM.

passover reeks. also today was brett's confirmation. i was at the church with his family from 7 to 11. it passed quickly, though. i thought for a long time about a lot of stuff. i don't know. anyway.

16-great adventure (season pass holders only, yo)
17-back to school :-(
20-tux pickup
coffee blue
21-hair
pick up flowers
PROM!

INSTANT STAR IS AMAZING.

Fri, 14 Apr 2006 19:07:18 GMT

last night i went to coffee blue with my sister amy. it was fantastic. probably the best time i've had there, ever, which makes it even sadder that it's almost gone. i read, i wrote... i saw kam and anya and dara and some others and i really felt bad for missing out on the past few months there. anyway, it was really amazing and amy and i stayed until 1 AM and then went home and started to watch dogma but fell asleep. but it was amazing.

this morning i woke up and went to great adventure with brett to meet up with erin, kelly, lauren, and erin's extended family. haha. it was so much fun-- i went on my first upside-down roller coaster! i had a really good time although my stomach hurt unrealistically badly. i bought a season pass (and parking pass woot woot) for all three parks so now i want to go all the time! that was exciting.

now i'm home and tired and my belly hurts and i'm going out for sushi tonight and yayyy.

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 16:17:21 GMT

tuesday was unbelievable. it was so amazing.

i hung out with amanda in the morning. that was really really good. we got pizza at dusal's and fed stale cheerios to geese and almost died once. we played on the swings and talked about stuff. then she left and i picked up brett from subway and we got ice cream and hung out at my house and then left for point pleasant. we got there early and wandered for a little (yay photobooth pictures!) before meeting up with erin, kelly, and kevin. we went to martell's and then played arcade games in the freezing night until my legs were numb. kevin hit a jackpot and won enough tickets to buy two shot glasses. hahahahkevin. around 9 we separated and me and brett went back to my house. we tried to play dr. mario but couldn't get it to work, and we watched sex and the city (i love my boyfriend.) and most of first kid (sup sinbad). his parents and my parents let him stay over, so we opened up the big bed in the back and cuddled and talked and it was amazing. i set my phone alarm and napped on the bed with him until 4ish, then went up right before my dad woke up.

i woke up wednesday morning, crawled back into bed with brett, then drove him home and headed to nathan's to work for three hours. most ridiculous useless labor of my life. nathan is in the practice of ripping innocent people off, so my job for today was to re-label books that were originally $9.95 as $13. lkajsfshit. then i went home and all the girls and boys were home, i didn't help much with passover dinner prep but i did read a lot of my indep reading book. the passover guest list came out to be: susie, david, mom, dad, jen, phil, amy, lucas, me, and brett. it was really fun. i fell asleep in the den when everyone was hanging out and then my mom, me, and amy drove brett home.

i woke up today and here i am. possible plans for the day: sushi with the sisters? call someone? who knows.

i am a happy girl.

15-brett's confirmation
16-coffee blue sale (company? money?)
21-prom!
22-brettday surprise
23-brett's/shakespeare's birthday
6-SATs

yay life.

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 16:01:02 GMT

so heyyyy LJ.

and hey spring break. yesterday was really, really good. i went out to breakfast at the mpan diner with brett in the morning for matza ball soup and cheese blintzes. then we hung out at my house for a while and i was all depressed because i had nothing to do that night when he was hanging out with the boys. so i called gina, because brett was hanging out with mark (gina's boyfriend), and gina was like, who is this...? but then she was excited and we met for sushi in howell. she tried sushi for the first time (watching someone's first sushi experience is really very fun.) and then we went back to her house for a while, hung out in her room, talked to the boys and told them about how we were having wild sex. then we made a spontaneous run to target (red bull what what??), back to her house, poured the red bull in cups so we could ice it but then poured it back in cans when we realized it was the color of urine. then our plans with her friends fell through so we went to the regent and i had disco fries and then we separated and i went home.

i got home, watched the end of the hayley mills parent trap with my mother, and then went to sleep. now amanda's on her way over, but i don't know what we're doing because i have four dollars and fifteen sense. period.

life in general has been pretty good lately. school calmed down a lot, prom drama was scary but hopefully has calmed down a little. i really hope this isn't our official h2k7 rift. it just shouldn't be this big of a deal. i'm really excited about prom. so far, my dress, bag, and ride have come to the grand total of: $1. i'm proud. i still have shoes and some other things to deal with, though. anyway, the friend situation got a little better. not a lot. i really liked spending time with gina-- we felt the same way about a lot of things and one of them was the "best friend" concept. also, she gave me a calendar :-D

governor's school... it really got me down. i was so, so excited and that damn koba man kept telling me how he's so sure that i'll get in. and then fucking corzine calls the whole thing off. it's not fair-- the truth is that they'll probably get it back up and running by next year so it will JUST be our year that misses out. this would have been the summer that helped me decide if engineering really was my future, and be the longest time i'd ever been away from home. among other things. lots of other things. it's really shitty and i'm really upset about it and it's too late to do anything, not that i think writing to congress in neon colored envelopes would ever really achieve much.

inspired by ashley:

april:
12-working at nathans ($$$yeahright.)
seder at home
16-coffee blue sale (assuming i have money and someone to go with)
20-coffee blue (tentatively)
21-prom!
22-brettday surprise
23-brett's/shakespeare's birthday

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 00:23:44 GMT

so way to not update for like a month. let alone the best month ever. i'll summarize the muy importante parts.

new years! sooooooooo amazing. party at clarissa's house... it was fantastic. no too out of control, and i thought it was awesome that if someone walked down, they would have no idea who was drunk and who wasn't. we were having that much fun. hahah lame. but seriously, filipino kareoke? teaching carla to say "eff the po-po" on command? so good. so unbelievable. mostly everyone slept over and we went to sleep some time before six AM, and i woke up a bit before nine because brett was home from colorado! it was a very good reunion.

we went back to school on the SECOND?! ridiculous. nobody was fully functional. but still, sometimes it's really good to be back.

my birthday was that wednesday and it was pretty fantastic. i started the day with my road test, passed quickly and then me and daddy went to the beach for breakfast. then i went back to school and got back during art. it was a good birthday. lots of cards made with pastels and construction paper and things like that. and presents. and cupcakes. i love everyone. i only drove a little that day but it was still exciting.

soooo the next few days were just pretty much a lot of school and brett and driving and picnics and po-po and friends and fun. a ton of stuff, actually, but none of it seems very significant right now, even if it was at the time. i've been really pretty happy, having a good time and everything.

so, today i went driving around with the baby. we went to return shoes and then to starbucks, saladworks, got gas, and now i'm going a dinner date with ellen. mmm yay.

fun day. fun life, honestly.

i'm sure i'm missing something important but that's probably okay

it's that time of year...

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 17:01:08 GMT

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
things that i wouldn't write here.

2. Did you keep your New Years resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
no, and probably so.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
yes, olivia was born on march third!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
yes, even if not very close. or-- closer than i realized? does that make sense?

5. What countries did you visit?
none.

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
the motivation to exercise.

7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
november 19th might have been the best night of my life. clarissa's cotillion and the most romantic night possible. seriously, i feel like that was the night my life changed.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
getting into simon's rock, nhs, class rank, retaining a social life, learning to drive, doing what was right for myself instead of being a martyr.

9. What was your biggest failure?
hurting someone at the end of spring.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
nah, i'm a tough cookie.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
ohhh my celery-green turtleneck <333

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
god, i love my friends. donahue continues to amaze me. danielle, like when she burned the eric files and took pictures of the ashes. amanda, especially on passover. brett, for everything. all of h2k7, really. i love you kids.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
eric and charith and myself, i'm not sure which being worse.

14. Where did most of your money go?
clothes, of course. i am a heartless materialistic bitch.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
cape may with danielle, simon's rock, nights at coffee blue, seeing my sisters. clarissa's party. a lot of stuff.

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
sweet baby james -- james taylor, can you feel the love tonight -- elton john, sway -- pussycat dolls, footloose -- kenny loggins, slow suicide -- jamisonparker, waste my time -- ALEXZ JOHNSON

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? happier
a. thinner or fatter? thinner
b. richer or poorer? poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
cleaning, running, reading, writing, studying, planning get-togethers that worked, eating healthily, telling people how i really felt and not lying to myself ot them.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
i feel like i wasted the entire first half of the year moping over eric. that was really stupid, in retrospect, and i didn't realize that until i came to terms with the fact that he was my first real relationship ever, and that's why i was so obsessed. i wish i'd done less obsessing over eric.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
we went to see the family stone and then went out for chinese food at freehold grand buffet with the bushes. good jews.

22. Did you fall in love in 2005?
yes.

23. How many one night stands?
i don't roll that way.

24. What was your favorite TV program(s)?
grey's anatomy, my name is earl (for a while, then it got kind of lame), the office, related, etc.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
yes.

26. What was the best book you read?
i didn't read as much as i should have. at all.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
yummm matt costa.

28. What did you want and got?
that fantastic delia's t-shirt. ohhh in love. also, new big headphones that hopefully don't suck ass. the $50 bill in a box was nice. DR MARIO CONSOLE FOR THE TELEVISION. breakfast at tiffany's dvd. pretty much everything, since i shopped with my mother for our presents :-/

29. What did you want and not get?
mr. ruddy's book, ben folds piano music, pete & pete on dvd. but i'm expecting those for my birthday :-D

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
maybe the family stone. nothing else was really breathtaking.

31. What did you do on your birthday?
that was a long time ago. i had dinner with some friends at basile's. cannoli-creme cake!

32. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?
it's really hard to say. i had a fantastic year. i guess maybe i would have changed some things about sophomore year-- about feeling left out and crying a lot. that was kind of dumb. i feel like, if i could do that over again, i would care less and as a result have a much better time.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
comfy. less funky than last year. more my own, though. it's like i've felt like i've had something to prove up until now, and now i'm falling into my own style. that sounds lame.

34. What kept you sane?
my friends. my sisters. home-cooked mashed potatoes. school, honestly, just because i wasn't home in the crazy house. not that they're that bad. i guess mostly my friends.

35. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
my heart will always belong to john cusack.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
you know how i am...

37. Who did you miss?
amy and jen, a lot. i don't do enough of keeping in touch with them.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
did i meet danielle this year? amanda, even though that was almost definitely hanukkah last year. some of the bbg girls. i guess that's all.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005.
sometimes you just have to do what's right for yourself. i know i hurt some people this year, two in particular, and i'll always feel sorry for hurting someone but i'll never feel sorry for doing what i needed to do for my own well-being.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"i whisper through my donut: hey baby baby light that ass on fire."
ahahhaha <33 ben. no, i can't think of anything else. this year was too all-over-the-place.

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
sneak out of someone's house, even if it wasn't my own; drank any form of alcohol; made out with a boy; stay up for a full 24 hours; go to a concert.

2. Did you keep your New Years resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i don't think i made any real resolutions, and i probably wont.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
no

4. Did anyone close to you die?
yes

5. What countries did you visit?
just this one.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
a solid group of friends

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
august 21... first kiss. shut up.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
see above...? i'm such a loser.

9. What was your biggest failure?
losing my summer friends

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
fractured the tibia... no more track.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
mmmm... my big headphones, my ipod (which i didn't really buy), a banana split chai at coffee blue...

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Ashley. i love my Ashley. i love how you said you wouldn't be a friend who would pressure me to try things if im not interested. that meant more to me than i think you knew.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
andy, duh.

14. Where did most of your money go?
cds and clothes and dinners out

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
honestly, Spirit 04.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
oh man... Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend; Come on Over; Losing My Religion (haha but true); Two Points for Honesty; Not the Same... there are probably more.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? happier, i think.
a. thinner or fatter? fatter, what with stopping xc and track and all.
b. richer or poorer? not sure

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
hanging out with new friends

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
wasting my time pining over boys.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
probably sleeping

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
it's debateable

23. How many one night stands?
zero.

24. What was your favorite TV program(s)?
boy meets world, degrassi, american dreams, life as we know it

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
yes

26. What was the best book you read?
The Secret Life of Bees

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Guster, Dispatch, Jack Johnson... wow, I guess a lot of those have to do with Andy, weird.

28. What did you want and got?
Popular on DVD... Love Actually... All Points Bulletin

29. What did you want and not get?
gah, Empire Records REMIXED

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Love Actually, Matchstick Men (was that this year?), there were probably a lot more...

31. What did you do on your birthday?
that was soooo long ago... I think I had my first humanities-Manalapan party, a sleepover.

32. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?
...a relationship.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
exploratory; wanting to be one of the seniors.

34. What kept you sane?
Erin Donahue can talk me through anything. I love her a lot.

35. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I am such a failure when it comes to knowing anything about politics.

37. Who did you miss?
Sean. The sisters.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
some of the H2K5ers, i suppose.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
just live for the present.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
and there has always been
laughing, crying, birth, and dying.
boys and girls with hearts
that take and give and break,
and heal and grow and recreate
and raise and nurture.
but then hurt
from time to times like these.'

Sat, 24 Dec 2005 21:08:10 GMT

January:

1. Did you have a new year's resolution this year?
the general healthy-happy-love-friends-etc. thing.

2. Who kissed you at midnight last year?
nobody

3. Wanna kiss someone at midnight this year?
i do. if he comes home by then :-(

4. Does it snow where you live?
yup

5. Do you like hot chocolate?
more than anything

6. Have you ever been to times square to watch the ball drop?
nope, tv's good for me.

February:

1. Did you have a Valentine in 2005?
yes

2. When you were little, did you buy Valentine's for your whole class?
dude, i still do. i'm not kidding.

3. Fav candy?
KISSABLES!

March:

1. Are you Irish?
not at all, actually.

2. Do you wear green on St. Patty's Day?
sometimes

3. Do you go to a parade?
no

4. What did you do for St. Patty's Day in 2005?
no idea. probably congratulated kelly for being irish. or something.

April:

1. Do you like the rain?
yes

2. Did you play an April Fool's joke on anyone this year?
"die baby die"... enough said.

3. Do you get tons of candy on Easter?
i'm just a lonely jew on easter. BUT AMANDA ROSSMAN FULFILLS MY WILDEST PASSOVER DREAMS.

May:

1. What's your favorite kind of flower?
orchid

2. Do you like the spring?
ehhh it's my least favorite.

3. Finish the phrase: April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
your mother's a dirty whore.

4. What would you think of as a spring color?
green

June:

1. What year did you graduate from school?
'07, baby.

2. Did you go on a vacation in June?
we don't vacation. but i did go to simons rock! <33333 infinite love.

July:

1. What did you do on the 4th of July?
tanglewood in the berkshires for the james taylor concert and fireworks. so amazing.

2. Did you go on any vacations during this month?
no.

August:

1. Did you do anything special to end your summer?
RLTI, h2k7 beach days

2. What was your favorite Summer Memory of 2005?
holy shit... simon's rock (jamie's class, tanglewood, northhampton, the water fight, ivocholoekateandeveryoneelse, the lounge every night at 3 AM, hot lifeguards, sam, dolliver lounge, basketball, 'ginj,' sleepovers, kate sexin' it up, popcorn, smores, the post office, everything.), the 14-hour beach day, every day at coffee blue, the beach, route 18 in general, thrift shopping, friends, romance, curfews, everything.

3. Did you go swimming a lot this summer?
pretty much

4. Did you go to the beach a lot?
yessss so much.

September:

1. Did you attend school/college in 2005?
REBELS REPRESENT!

2. Who is/was your favorite teacher?
JPHUEBNER.COM. uh... no, definitely all of them. i love them. especially coach yuro.

3. Do you like Fall better than Summer?
yup

October:

1. What was your favorite halloween costume ever?
red fraggle!

2. What did you dress up like this year?
a fairy in hi-tops and a tiara... wtf like i wore everything colorful in my room, pretty much.

November:

1. Who's house do you usually go to for Thanksgiving?
here or pammy's

2. Do you like stuffing?
yep

3. What are you thankful for?
as of right now? my family, my friends, brett, being healthy and having a really good life, no matter what kind of drama i create for myself.

4. Watch any football?
i went to like, every rebel football game. fucking amazing.

December:

1. Do you celebrate Christmas?
GO JEWS.

2. Have you ever been kissed under mistletoe?
nope

3. What do you want this year for Christmas?
for hanukkah, i want new headphones and pete & pete on dvd and clothes and scarves and dude seriously any present really enterains me. you can't lose.

4. What's the best present you ever got for Christmas?
for hannukah? asjkldfjasfal BON JOVI TICKETS.

5. Would you rather recieve a present or give one?
i honestly love getting presents for people, but i might like getting them more. it's hard to say.

6. Do you like cold weather?
more than anything

general:

bday:
jan. 4 (11 days!)

how old did you turn?
16 (17 in 11 days!)

whatd you do:
dinner with friends at basile's.

can 2006 be better then 2005:
maybe 2005 wasn't that great looking back on it, but at the time i was having the time of my life. but this year is going to be the best one ever. i really believe that. license, best teachers, being in love with my humanities class, being in love in general.

Mon, 28 Nov 2005 04:45:28 GMT

yayyy i did a buddy list cleanout for the first time in maybe six years.

yayyy i had the best weekend possibly ever.

i don't think i even knew i could be this happy.

so, i'm going friends-only again. i have been, on and off, for the past few weeks, but i'm doing it hxc now. i can't remember why i went back to public again in the first place.

so yeah, comment to be added. much love, kids.

i had no idea this was karma shit! i thought it was acne!

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 20:41:38 GMT

wow, i'm just glad i got out of this when i did. it's like all through this relationship, i started to like you less and less and now i realize that you're just a complete prick.

but yeah, definitely keep on saying "fuck you, you deceitful douche-bitch." that'll definitely make things better for you.

Fri, 25 Nov 2005 16:45:54 GMT

so yesterday was thanksgiving.

it was a pretty good one. we cooked and baked a little bit during the day, then we headed to pammy's at 2:30. the crowd there was a little different and a lot better than usual. instead of susie's boyfriend (manfriend?) and his entire extended obnoxious family, it was AJ's (pammy's husband's) side of the family. So it was the five fishers, pammyajethanolivia, susie, and marymeaganjasonbrian. that probably has very little meaning but whatev.

we ate thanksgiving dinner buffet style on paper plates with plasticware (gotta love my extended family.) and after dinner, played with the babies and stuff until desert, which me, amy, and jen skipped and we headed to the movies instead.

we saw rent. now, amy had said that she thought it would be either mediocre or earth-shattering, considering what it had to live up to, and i think it was just between the two, slightly closer to earth-shattering. i hated that some of the chronology was out of order. i HATED that they didn't do Happy New Year OR Happy New Year B, those are my favorite for some reason. the engagement party seemed a little weird, but pretty amazing in the end, and the fucking scene with roger strolling around new mexico, i was like WHAT THE HELL.

speaking of ROGER. OH GOD. SO ATTRACTIVE. then i realized that i was so attracted to him because he looked exactly like a young bon jovi. i'm so weird.

ANYWAY, the rest of the movie was phenomonal. i can't put the good parts into words. but i only cried once. so sue me.

okay i have to go cook because THANKSGIVING IS A TWO-DAY HOLIDAY IN THE FISHER HOUSE.

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 17:30:41 GMT

i love thanksgiving.

everyone came home yesterday (amy and jen) and the whole fam (all five of us!) watched shows that we had taped for the whole night... related got a lot better and i actually CRIED and stuff like that. then mom and dad went to sleep and me, amy, and jen watched lots of sex and the city and then love actually and went to sleep at 4, i think. it was good and we haven't done that in a long time. and we talked about lots of stuff and that was good.

kate and ivonna never called, which i probably should have expected. they were having a simon's rock reunion at kate's in atoona, pennsylvania. i'm sorry i couldn't go, but come on, it's thanksgiving. i miss them. it made me sad that they didn't call. anywayyyyyyyyy.

brett's coming home soon and i'm excited. there are more surprises. i have no idea what's going on but i feel like the rest of the world does. but i'm excited. this sounds lame.

btw, friday in school was hilarioussss and amazing. it made me hate mr. r. a little less. and we watched shakespeare in love in louns and that was great.

apparently we're leaving for my cousin's house in two hours so i need to go shower and help finish cooking. so much fun.

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 23:48:09 GMT

[ .. CURRENT .. ]
- Current Clothes: rebels football sweatshirt, cape may sweatpants
- Current Mood: tired beyond all reason.
- Current Music: ben harper
- Current Taste: some kind of raspberry tea that mama brewed up for me
- Current Make-up: leftover mascara, probably
- Current Hair: messy half straight nonsense.
- Current Smell: i'm stuffy.
- Current thing I ought to be doing: SLEEPING.
- Current Desktop Picture: a picture from saturday
- Current Favorite Artist: ben folds 4E.
- Current Favorite Group: i'd have to say jack's mannequin. but it's getting a little old. cause i listen to the same things too many times in a row.
- Current Book: nothing major, i think we finished the dubliners and i have to finish the chosen still.
- Current CD in CD Player: dispatch
- Current DVD in player: no ideaaa
- Current Color Of Toenails: some shitty beige i put on exactly two minutes before the party
- Current Refreshment: my fatigue.
- Current Worry: that i won't be able to stay conscious tomorrow.

[ ..LAST PERSON.. ]
- You Touched: mama hugged me before they left
- You Talked to: myself.
- You Hugged: mom.
- You Instant Messaged: danielle
- You Yelled At: danny. haha i made him sad.
- You Kissed: brett :-O oh as if we didn't all see.

[ .. FAV0URITE .. ]
- Foods: mashed potatoes.
- Drink: juicy juice! ks snapple, other stuff.
- Color: green.
- Album: ben folds live
- Shoes: oh god i can't pick.
- Candy: skittles and whoppers
- Animal: uhhh. otters.
- TV Show: boy meets world degrassi grey's anatomy rugratssss wtf.
- Song: i can't pick a favorite song ever. maybe living on a prayer. maybe annie waits. maybe not.
- Vegetable: taters count.
- Fruit: pinapple or grapes mmm
- Cartoon: family guyyy

[ .. ARE Y0U .. ]
- Understanding: yeah
- Open-minded: yeah
- Arrogant: not really
- Insecure: no
- Interesting: ehhhh
- Easily Amused: yeah
- Random: depends
- Hungry: always
- Friendly: yeah usually
- Smart: yeah
- Moody: yesss
- Childish: i'm either a 4 year old or a 40 year old, depends when you catch me.
- Independent: yeah.
- Healthy: no
- Emotionally Stable: yes
- Shy: not with most people
- Difficult: sorta
- Bored Easily: no
- Messy: god yes.
- Thirsty: yeah
- Responsible: not as much as pretend to be.
- Obsessive: yeahhhh.
- Angry: nahhh
- Sad: nope
- Happy: yes!
- Hyper: no. i mean, not right now.
- Trusting: yes.
- Talkative: sometimes

[ .. WH0 D0 Y0U WANT T0 .. ]
- Kill: www.jphuebner.com. i am not just playin'.
- Slap: how do i even respond to that?
- Tickle: clarissa!
- Look Like: a combination of a lot of people
- Be with right now: ....brrrett (4 days)
- Talk To Offline: someone to help me with the lab.
- Talk To Online: someone to help me with the lab.

[ .. HAVE Y0U EVER .. ]
- Eaten an entire package of Oreos? not in one sitting, but yes.
- Been on stage? yeah, lots in middle school but not since i started going to school with the pacers.
- Dumped someone? uh yeah.
- Gotten in a car accident? no
- Been in love? yeahhh.

[ .. FAV0URITE .. ]
- Shampoo? whatev. herbal, i guess.
- Toothpaste? whatever. minty fresh.
- Soap? netrogena or st. ives
- Room in your house? the cave. where i am now.
- Instrument? piano.

[ .. EITHER/0R .. ]
- Coffee or hot chocolate? hot chocolate
- big or little? haha.
- Lace or satin? uhhh. lace i guess
- New or old?: wtf?
- Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt: tommy.
- Vogue or Cosmopolitan?: uhhhh. teen vogue SUCKS ASS.
- Jeans or cords? jeansss
- Sweater or sweatshirt? depends on whether i'm going for comfort or glam. oh god.
- T-shirt or tank top? t-shirt
- Skirt or dress? skirt
- Wool or cotton? psh cotton.
- Rose or Lily? lily
- Oldies or pop? oldies. but pop sometimes.
- Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? i don't really know. do you know?
- Do you have a best friend? yes

[ .. IN THE LAST 48 H0URS, HAVE Y0U .. ]
- Cried? no
- Helped someone? sure. i'm always there to lend a helping hand.
- Bought something? gatorade blast!
- Gotten sick? i've been sick for a week or two, but i think it's finally passing.
- Gone to the movies? no, but i have a date for saturday ;-)
- Gone out for dinner? we go out all the time lately.
- Said "I love you"? no. not seriously.
- Written a real letter? i drafted one several times but that's it.
- Moved on? actually, yes
- Talked to an ex? no.
- Talked to someone you have a crush on? hahaha yesss.
- Had a serious talk? lots
- Missed someone? yesss
- Hugged someone? yesss
- Fought with your parents? sort of.
- Fought with a friend? not really

[ .. D0 Y0U / ARE Y0U.. ]
- Wear eye shadow? sometimes
- Put on a "front"? hahaha you best not be frontin'.
- Have a crush on someone? heck yes i do!
- Eat with your mouth open? jon says yes. survey says no.
- If you got a tattoo, where would you get it? waist-hip-ish
- What color is your floor/carpet in your room? it's actually called 'merlot'
- Are you lonely? nah
- Are you happy? yep
- Are you wearing pajamas? not technically, but i'll be too lazy to change out of these.
- Are you talking to someone online? no, i'm "working on my lab." actually, i'm talking to erin.

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 20:51:26 GMT

wow, today was shit.

it was cool that everyone got really spirited and into the battle of the classes, so all the juniors were wearing red and i got war paint and glitter and ribbons and we were all really into it. i don't think i'm going to go to the actual event tonight, though. i just feel like crap.

the weather was depressing. and i love love love rain this heavy, but something about it just depressed me today. it wasn't very like me. it lightninged (haha that's not a word.) in gym and that was nice.

history pissed me off so much. mr. r. was being an asshole in general, with his double standards of when joking around is okay and when all of the sudden it's obnoxious. he screwed himself over so bad, though, ashley shouted something out and he said "i didn't know you had tourette's" and she said "that's not funny at all." and he said "i know it's not funny," as if HE hadn't been the one who said it. he got all flustered over that, after. probably afraid of phone calls from angry parents of disabled children. or something. idk, it was the principle.

and his grading, GOD. he finally gave us our grades today for first marking period, despite the fact that it's been over for a week in a half. since he never returns any grades on anything we do, our grades come as a complete surprise, and since it's so late, there's nothing to do about them. so i got a B+. my first B on a report card ever! isn't that exciting!?

anyway, i was the only engineering candidate for gov. school from our school so i got nominated by default for the first level. that's good, i guess.

i felt so sick and drained and shitty by the end of the day that i wanted to just curl up and die. or something.

at least tomorrow is a psuedo-friday. i need a long weekend with my sistersss. i just found out that amy's coming home tonight, so that's sweet. and brett's coming home saturday so i'll see him that night and all of sunday. so i have things to look forward to.

today, though. gross.

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 03:46:29 GMT

today was sort of stressful. everyone was really tense, i guess. lots of tears and gossip and yelling.

i'm on the phone with brett. not that i'm not listening to him. just that i'm a good multitasker. i love that we do not run out of things to talk about. it's just nice. it's really nice. he'll be home in five days. :-/ that's a long time away. we made big plans for when he gets back. big plans.

i was so tired today. i went to sleep in my pajamas and glasses again. i do that way too often. i haven't caught up on sleep from months ago, it feels like. it's been worth it, though.

good night.

Mon, 21 Nov 2005 04:36:46 GMT

this governor's school application took way longer than it should have.

somebody get me a half-decent dermatologist, please.

yay three day week!

yay random trains of thought.

good night, loves.

Mon, 21 Nov 2005 01:51:34 GMT

So. yesterday.

brett came over early and we went to the craft fair at school. very cool. we didn't hang out there for very long... brett got his face painted and we met danielle for a little.

ahaha.

then we came back to my house, wrapped presents, i went to get my hair done, and we headed to tinton falls.

we got to the hotel at 4 (first ones there), hung out with papa claro, then everyone started arriving. we did makeup and practiced a little, dealt with gomez family conflicts, taught carla to say "eff the po-po," then changed and headed downstairs at 7.

we mingled, then did the dance that we'd prepared for for seven months. it was not flawless. i was really nervous. and then, at the end of the cha-cha, when we did the dip, brett whispered something really sweet and then kissed me. we exited, as planned, but i was flipping out, when when i turned back to look at the humanities table half of them got up and applauded.

it was unbelievable. the whole night was just fantastic. it was the last of the h2k7 sweet sixteens, which was kind of sad. filipinos have a lot of organized dances. weird.

after, brett's dad picked us up and we went to the diner for a little and i got home at 1. we did the good night thing and good bye, because he was leaving the next morning for colorado for a week, and i was sad but i have so much to look forward to.

i didn't send the letter. after all that work, i realized it was better not to. i think it was more therapeutic just to write it, anyway.

things are fantastic right now, they really are.

more pictures to follow.

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 06:12:02 GMT

have you ever had one of those moments that just make you think, "hey, i was waiting for that moment my entire life."?

i did.